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When Insults had Class:

As the election season heats up, perhaps the candidates will make some additions to this list.

When Insults had Class

There was a time when  words were used  beautifully. These glorious  insults  are from an era when cleverness  with words was still  valued,  before a great portion of the English  language  was boiled down to  four-letter words!

 The exchange  between Churchill and   Lady  Astor :   She  said , " If you were  my husband, I'd give  you poison ," and he  said ,
" If you were my wife,  I'd take  it ."

 Gladstone, a member of  Parliament, to Benjamin Disraeli : " Sir, you  will either die on the  gallows or of some  unspeakable  disease ."
 " That  depends,  sir ," said Disraeli ,  " On whether I  embrace your  policies or  your  mistress ."

 " He had delusions of adequacy ." - Walter  Kerr

 " He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire ."  -    Winston  Churchill

 " A modest little person, with  much to be modest about ." - Winston  Churchill

 " I have never killed a man,  but I have read many obituaries with  great  pleasure ." - Clarence  Darrow

 " He has never been known to  use a word that might send a reader to the  dictionary ." - William  Faulkner (about Ernest  Hemingway).

 " Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big  emotions come from big  words ?" -   Ernest  Hemingway (about William  Faulkner)

 " Thank you for sending me a copy of your book;  I'll waste no time  reading  it ." - Moses  Hadas

 " H e can compress the most  words into the smallest idea of any man  I  know ." -   Abraham  Lincoln

 " I didn't attend the funeral,  but I sent a nice letter saying  I  approved of  it ." - Mark  Twain

 " He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends ." -     Oscar  Wilde

 " I am enclosing two tickets  to the first night of my new play;  bring  a friend.... if you have  one ." - George Bernard  Shaw to  Winston  
Churchill

 " Cannot possibly attend first  night, will attend second... if  there  is one ." -   Winston  Churchill , in  response.

 " I feel so miserable without you; it's almost  like having you here ." -   Stephen  Bishop

  He is a self-made man and  worships h is creator ." - John  Bright

 " I've just learned about his  illness. Let's hope it's  nothing   trivial ." -   Irvin S.  Cobb

 " He is not only dull himself,  he is the cause of dullness in others ."    - Samuel  Johnson

" He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to  run up ." - Paul  Keating

 " There's nothing wrong with  you that  reincarnation won't  cure ."   - Jack E.  Leonard

 " He has the attention span of  a lightning bolt ." - Robert  Redford

 " They never open their mouths  without  subtracting from the sum  of  human knowledge ." -   Thomas  Brackett Reed

 " In order to avoid being  called a flirt, she always yielded  easily ."   - Charles, Count  Talleyrand

 " He loves nature in spite of what it did to him ." - Forrest  Tucker

 " Why do you sit there looking like an envelope  without any address on  it ?" -   Mark  Twain

 " His mother should have  thrown him away and kept the stork . -   Mae  West

 " Some cause happiness  wherever they go; others, whenever they  go ."-    Oscar  Wilde

 " He uses statistics as a  drunken man uses lamp-posts... for  support   rather than  illumination ." - Andrew  Lang (1844-1912)

 " He has Van Gogh's ear for music ." - Billy  Wilder

 " I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it ."  -    Groucho  Marx